WOW! feeling inspired to share my perspective on what is being called forth at this time in our country and in our world. This is a call to practice the alchemy of transmutation and quantum healing in relationship. I know we are ready for this.!!!
I would like to share two perspectives about the state of our union right now.. As we begin a new chapter here in the US, there is much we can gain from what has come before. And there is much that is needed in our ability to create a safe and steadfast container for utter opposition and hold steady while these opposites transmute to a new opportunity. And we are also being called to the outrageous practice of validation and empathy even when we sit across from someone or something the seems to want to break our hearts and storm our temples of reconciliation.
In my training and forty year practice of alchemical transformation, I have held firm to the principle that EVERYTHING IS INTEGRATABLE. We are designed to resolve every single conflict, trauma, heartbreak, dissonance that arises in our individual and collective psyche. However there are necessary elements that allow us to move to this magnificent place of resolution and even evolution.
THERE MUST BE A STEADFAST WITNESS that comes from beyond the ego.
In the ego, there are always dueling opposites and so someone or something must show up that is beyond this agonizing conflict of opposites. An aspect of our being that is capable of providing the compassion and acceptance of eviscerating opposition and say” YES!! all of it! all of it! AND in this strong, compassionate container, transmutation can occur.”
The wise steadfast parent that can hold the fighting children and not only navigate the sharing of toys but facilitate a shift in consciousness from self possession to generosity of spirit.
What is also necessary is that the duel between the opposites, otherwise known as the activated trauma, must show up in the field to as close to 100% as we can allow.
Here in lies the madness and the majesty of the past four years. ( and perhaps four Millennia) In spite of the riots and mayhem and even wall scaling insurrection, I observe that we have also been slowly able to build our ability to shift from reaction to observation. We have slowly begun to realize that our differences do not require our dissidence. So we begin to watch… and breathe and allow all of the outrageous opposites to show up on the stage all at once. And when we can hold steady in our witness consciousness, and proclaim, ” it is safe to feel all of this” Something miraculous occurs. The opposites dissolve!!!!!! A quantum shift occurs and that which would have manifested as civil war, turns into something that surprises us. A way forward that includes all of the parts yet is much bigger than the sum. A divine third idea, and path forward. This may not yet be showing itself on the country or planetary stage, but I see it and hear it and feel it in the intentions and declarations and poems and proclamations of the visionary leaders of our world.
So how to we make this intention into a reality…. Back to conscious relationship practices 101!!!
There are three extraordinarily powerful and profound practices that can stop people and nations from fighting and I believe bring peace on earth..
So simple to say and I guarantee will bring forth your exalted consciousness to practice. The ability to give the gift of these three, simple yet powerful offerings in communication, and ideally to receive them back, ushers in the most profound healing and uplifting of anything I have ever experienced in my life.
Here it is…
What ever the other says:
We respond with :
1. Paraphrasing… repeating back the actual words and content of the other’s sharing. When we hear our own words reflected back to us with no defense, no interpretation, no analysis or critique there is a settling in to the experience of ” I have been heard.” The defensive gloves come off and the opening of the heart occurs.
2. Validation … we say literally ” I get that this is how it is for you” or some version of this sentiment. The way you see/feel/ experience what is going on is how you see/feel/experience what is going on and I affirm that as YOUR experience. ( even if it is about me and I see it completely differently)
This is as profound and powerful as a parent who says back to a child after they wake you up at three am saying “Mommy there are monsters under my bed and you respond, “so there are monsters under your bed. I get that this is how it is for you.” and also as powerful as your partner saying: “I can’t believe you did not show up for our anniversary, how hurtful you are!!!” and instead of wanting to say, but the battery on the car died, you respond with, ” wow you feel like I am being hurtful because I didn’t show up for our anniversary” I get that that is how it is for you and that must feel so painful. ”
I promise, if you can even slightly master this step, you will melt mountains of armored pain and create an experience of relief that opens the door to true healing and communion.
And now the all powerful number 3. EMAPTHY
to the child…” it must feel awful to have monsters under your bed, how scary!!!”
to the partner… “how horrible it must feel that I didn’t show up for our anniversary, that must be heart breaking.”
No correction of reality, no defensiveness, complete trust that in giving these gifts we are making a space that will also allow and invite our version of reality.
I invite you to practice and watch the miracle of communion that arises in both these practices…
1. Hold space for the opposites, keep breathing and witnessing even when it feels and looks like WW3 is about to happen and keep repeating the mantra, ” It’s safe to feel all of this and bear witness to all of this” ” I trust in the benevolent observer of all that is” I trust that everything resolves and dissolves in the compassionate container of pure watching!
2. Paraphrase ( reflect back words) /Validate/ Empathize.
I invite you to share with me your experiences with these magical potions. I swear we can bring forth a beautiful new world with the help of these practices. I am here to help you learn them and refine your practice… Let’s bring forth a beautiful new world of love, healing and communion…
love and blessings,