Morning Journey of Grace

I have been very discerning about what I read and expose myself to these days as our world is awash with revelations, rebellions, wretched, heart breaking, re- surfacing of long submerged darkness. This is not as an act of avoidance but more an understanding that all is as it needs to be and my choice and calling are to focus steadfastly on the light that is holding all of this misery in its arms of compassion and “welcoming home” infinite love. We are building a new world and bearing witness to the purging and dissolution of the old one.

Yet this morning, ( full disclosure – while still in bed) I turned on my phone and went to facebook to connect with my lovely friends who share so much delight, yet where I know only too well, there is currently a cascade of dark news, yet I went anyway.) Instead of scrolling past a headline in someone’s post that I saw immediately was about something evil, I opened it. I chose to read a horrific story about one of our founding fathers. One I had even heard before but something compelled me to read again. I have had a deep heart knowing that the so called Founding Fathers of the United States of America, were following a path of soul assignment to bring forth this radical and beautiful vision of life, liberty and equality for all people. How deeply confusing and disturbing also to have to accept that some of them were active perpetrators of the very vile and egregious acts of oppression that they were risking their lives to change in the forging of our new nation state.

I could feel my heart aching and sinking into the sorrowful place that edges on despair. I found myself searching in my inner rolodex for some sage or spiritual teacher that I could reach out to to beseech: “Please tell me (again) how can such a paradox and such level of abasement happen in our world at the same time as such grand and lofty proclamations ?” Then the thought came to me. “It is not the first time those in power have horrifically debased those without power.” I flashed back to the history lessons of other regimes past where such acts were the way of nation building and imperialism for centuries.

I found myself answering my own call for guidance and insight and went on a journey through my understanding of the rise and and fall of human consciousness. When did this all begin? I reflected on the ancient “pre- history” accounts of civilizations of light that existed here on earth. I tuned in to the indigenous tribes that lived in such harmony with nature, each other and the unseen mysteries. I found myself asking the question, “What caused the split? What caused the breaking apart?” I dug deep for the past life memories I have had and the spiritual insights that have come along the way. And then the building blocks started to emerge again.

This is a planet of duality and thus the birth of light and dark, union AND separation. This is a place of free will. As the human ego develops it is faced with the fierce passions of the flesh and the thirst for power! AND THERE IT WAS! POW!!! A sweeping remembrance. One of the major assignments for me in my own individual path. “You are here to learn about power over and power under!!!”

My scholarly pilgrimage through collective history suddenly zoomed down and in to my own singular path of evolution. I grimaced as I remembered both the heart breaking self loathing I felt as a child, and the arrogant know it all, bossy pants self that caused me to lose friends and alienate people through out the first two decades of my life. I flashed quickly through the assertiveness training that I received in university that helped me find my boundaries and my voice yet also gave me some kind of permission to eviscerate those who had “done me wrong” and also to those, that in my arrogance, I felt were in need of my direction and “wisdom” I could feel myself squirming under the spotlight of my own reflections, yet I stayed the course.

I found my way to the merciful moments when I sat in the hot seat for the first time receiving “feedback” from kind hearted, mature, true wisdom keepers. Giving me the straight talk I needed to see my blind spots, yet with no hint of judgement or that persistent seesaw of “Power Over, Power Under” that was the only dynamic I had ever known. If I am being “put down” isn’t it because you are wanting to rise up and over?” For the first time in my life, I actually felt the blessing of Mercy, Compassion, and Deep Acceptance of the human condition on its way to awakening. In the blanket of this embrace, I was able to dissolve my defenses and sit in my own seeing of myself. First came the sense of defeat, like I had lost some kind of battle, then burning shame, then the deep, deep sadness of self loathing and lo and behold, in this container of simple, pure watching and being willing to experience all these hidden layers of my psyche, I found my way to peace. Nothing had changed on the outside, but I was an awake human being for a few moments, freed from the infrastructure of “Power Over and Power Under” I remember feeling both relief and deep disorientation. To actually sit with another human being, who in our relationship actually was in a position of authority and so called power over, and yet all I could feel was mutual respect, honoring of each of us and a deep abiding connection of both heart and soul.

What is delightful and interesting to me, is that this person, the first to model for me and guide me through this quantum shift is the person in the whole world for whom I have the highest esteem and gratitude. What is also extraordinary is that there came a time in our relationship when it was I, still the so called underling in our work relationship, who came to her, quaking and shaking a bit, but now calling forth a similar truth telling, spot light searching for hidden patterns in her psyche and I felt the exhilaration of getting to be the giver of mercy, just as I have received it in the past.

Those first steps out of the power over and power under cage and into the field beyond right doing and wrong doing in my human relationships were like an elixir for my soul and were life changing. It became my passion and purpose to teach this process to as many humans as I could get my hands on.

And so my journey of inquiry brought me back to the present. I found my heart softening and opening to a vast well of compassion and forgiveness for all that we humans have agreed to learn here on our blue green planet. I felt the thin veil between our world and the infinite, and had a lovely vision of the millions of beleaguered souls both those that hurt and those that have been hurt by their fellow human beings welcomed home into the arms of mercy, love and compassion as they cross over.

I found myself attuning to the tsunami of souls, right here on our current world who are deeply embedded in their own “hot seat” journey, finding the darkness hidden in the inner recesses of the psyches. Bravo dear brothers and sisters! Bravo! One by one, and gladly, through our hundredth monkey and butterfly effect magic, we are stepping out of the power over and power under cloak that has kept us enslaved for so long. And so it is that the even deeper principle that governs the entire cosmos, “As Above, So Below and As Within, So Without, ONENESS, UNITY, WHOLENESS, is emerging as the dominate impulse once again and sweeping through hearts and minds, families, neighborhoods, cities, states, nations and races across the globe.

I felt my heart expanded and even softly joyful once again. What a powerful, profound time to be here on earth right now and as hard as it is some days, especially to be here in the United States. I am Canadian by birth, national pride and loyalty and I am mere miles from the border. I could scoot home in a heartbeat, yet I keep being guided to stay here in the cra cra U S of A!!, seemingly a night mare of idiotic divisiveness and destruction. I stay in the knowing that this country’s soul is assigned the daring and difficult role of leadership into that vision of Life, Liberty and Justice for All. It is profound for me to bear witness to what seems like the Battle Royale between the dark and the light that plays itself out as the rest of the world cringes and even bans us from their borders.

I choose to hold on to that vision. I choose to sit with you dear nation and world. I choose to shine the light of mercy, compassion, acceptance and love upon you as you burn in the hot seat of awakening. I know first hand what is required to break free and I will stay with you until the rejoicing. And I will get back on the burning seat every single time I need to when old patterns creep back in to see if they can get away with their shenanigans. It is already happening! I see the embracing and kneeling together in the streets, I see the beautiful children with so much light and love in their eyes! I see the wisdom keepers and the elders coming forth from their hidden sanctuaries to speak again what they have known for so long.

And so it was time to arise. To engage in another day. To be the vessel of grace that I have been called to be. I turned on my Pandora tunes that are my first companion most mornings. This is what came across my feed. OH MY! OH MY! OH MY! OH MY! Instant reflection and affirmation. THANK YOU Beloved Father Mother God for your mercy, love, compassion and forgiveness.

Blessings to One and All on this new day in which we get to create a whole new world.

Love Grace


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